Filing Taxes As An Independent Contractor vs Throwing Acid On My Eyeballs

They're both equally painful.  Why does the IRS make everything so horrifyingly complicated?  In order to complete the 1040, I have to fill out Schedule C (for profit or loss from business) and Schedule SE (to calculate self-employment tax), then start working on 1040-ES (for 2011 estimated tax) to figure out a quarterly payment schedule for taxes that don't get withheld from my locum tenens gigs while making random guesses regarding what my total income in 2011 might turn out to be [Dear IRS, Are you aware that I am not psychic].

Don't even get me started on what constitutes allowable deductions for business expenses!  I have read countless IRS publications & instruction booklets and wandered through confusing and ridiculously unhelpful worksheets & flow charts, and I still can't tell if my calculations are correct.  The instructions tell me to divide line 9 by line 15, then multiply by 0.0239, then spritz with aerosolized frankincense and bake the whole thing in a front-loading crucible gas kiln at cone 04 for 8 days while doing the hokey pokey.  Am I a minister, member of a religious order, or Christian Science practitioner?  Am I a farmer or fisherman?  Really?!  This information is somehow crucial to sorting out the jumble of paperwork?!  Hire a tax professional, you say?  Yes, I really should have done that months ago but you've probably deduced by now that I am the world champion procrastinator when it comes to paperwork involving taxes.  The idea of working the counter at McDonald's is starting to sound inexplicably attractive...

Spring Has Sprung

Having returned to Seattle (after admitting my last patient on night float: a 14-yr-old girl who overdosed on tylenol and then had to endure lectures from both me and the ER doc on Why Acetaminophen Is Not Your Friend), I am delighted to find that everything from daffodils to cherry blossoms is now in full bloom, even if there is still more drizzle than sunshine.  I am thankful to be walking on actual pavement instead of snow & ice, armed only with a light windbreaker.

My precocious 3-1/2 yr old nephew has advanced by leaps & bounds while I've been away, and he can now write most letters of the alphabet with minimal assistance.  He wants to learn words, so I've been constructing small sentences for him to trace over with color pencils: