The Perks of Small Town Living

I am ensconced in the tiny town of Tonasket, population 995 [or 996 if you count me] located along the eastern bank of the Okanogan River, approximately 20 miles south of the Canadian border.  It's the land of apple orchards and cattle ranches, and the perks of small town living are as follows:

1. There are no furnished apartments available, so you get to stay with one of the physicians and his family in their lovely home in the mountains that looks like a rustic bed & breakfast inn:

2. The clinic, hospital and nursing home are all less than 50 paces apart
3. A patient whose ingrown toenail you removed announces loudly to everyone in the local grocery store that you cured him
4. You open your exam room door to greet a pleasantly demented elderly woman who exclaims, "Look, it's a pretty girl!" when she sees you
5. The clinic holiday party features a white elephant gift exchange in which most of the presents are 70 proof, and your door prize is...gin!

6. You get your picture in the newspaper, just for showing up to work: