She was unfailingly polite, despite her embarrassment, as she introduced herself, shook my hand, and explained her problem. She and her husband had gotten rather tipsy the night before, and despite an exhaustive search of their bedroom, neither of them could find the condom they had used. "I think it's stuck somewhere inside me," she said tearfully.
After gently reassuring the patient, I was able to visualize the condom immediately upon inserting the speculum, and I neatly retrieved it with a handy pair of ring forceps. I told my greatly relieved patient not to feel bad and recited a litany of other items I had successfully removed from other people's vaginas, including an old tampon (the patient had cut the string off a few days before and forgotten about it) and a make-up sponge (I was afraid to ask).
